MINIONS FOR LIFE
This song is awesome!
Introduction
Hello, I am the creator of this website, and, for some background, I am a professional Minionologist that is revered throughout Gruudom. Many people are confused by my feats in Minionology, but they are just amateurs in the field with no experience or respect. Anyway, this website is going to be devoted to explaining and studying many fields in Minionology, and encouraging developments in the overall understanding of minions and their culture.
Creator:L.S.D
(Now ran by S.O.D)
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History of Minions
I'll first go through the basic run-down on the history of Minions. Now, many people assume Minions derive from Gruudom, but Minions actually derive from forming out of the River Styx in the Circle of Hell of Wrath. The Minions absorbed out of Styx and traveled to the Hell city of Dis. At Dis, the Furies flew them down to be eaten by Satan himself, but, the Minions were enslaved and soon mined themselves out to the mortal world. The Minions then arrived at Gruudom, where the immortal beings have to be subjected to endless torture and experimentation, but it was prophesied that the Minions would join another villian and go to the Moon and all commit a ritual suicide, by way of screaming until their entire bodies popped into a bloody pulp.
Minion Culture and Hierarchy
Minion culture is very oriented on death. Minions are not intelligent creatures, but they are very hard-working and very creative. They don't say it, but they like being tortured. This is because it's the only thing that allows them to forget about their tortured souls and their constantly playing screams in the backgrounds of their caves. Also, in Minion hierarchy, there is a villian, and below that are the Banana Kings, and below that you have regular Minions. Peasants if you will. For example, Gru is a Villian, Bob is a Banana King, and Jorge is a regular Minion.
Minion Biology
General Minion biology is actually quite simple, compared to average animal biology. Their, "skin" or outside body is actually just hollow tubes of yellow blubber, with most of their internals just being a slime-like purple goo that nearly fills their entire body. Their organs are actually located in a separate part of their body which no purple goo is present, this is done by an internal wall in the near-center of the body. This separate pocket contains red blood and blue organs, which are fairly similar to a human, but with around four kidneys, three small stomachs, and the fact that the organs float around almost freely.
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The brain of a minion is actually very spherical and is very smooth. The size of a Minion's brain is around two times the size of the average human palm. Making it decently large for its size. Their bodies taste like blubber but their organs taste like a blueberry or raspberry which are very juicy. Once you give a Minion a pill that decays the inner wall that separates the halves, the goo will power the organs of the Minion and turn them into a Diabolical.
Diabolicalilization is a very painful process for a Minion.
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Screaming Minion!
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